Once An Imago
The clock strikes twelve and Annie trips on the third step, embarking on the tumble to her near-death. Tommy's Grandmother hands him a carefully-wrapped present; her hands are shaking and the box slips through Tommy's fingers; everyone watches its descent. Lauren pauses in the act of reaching for her hand mirror as the doorbell rings. Rowan shakes his head, which is full of thoughts about how gorgeous Sandra looks tonight, and how he can't believe he ever thought Denise Rowland was hotter.
The cripple emerges from the condemned building, beginning his morning shuffle downtown. He wafts in a miasma of decay, an excellent example of what not to become. He's a survivor who foolishly refused to let the war kill him when he had the chance. The promise of what might have been haunts him every moment of every day, a giant lacuna lurking in his shadow. He passes people on the street and imagines the way his tale would make them oscitate. Their faces would turn bright red as they realised their bodies had betrayed how little they cared. He reflects on where he came from, and where he's ended up.
He thinks, Synchronicity.
I was tempted to let this post stand on its own, without any 'non-fiction' addition. That way it would truly be a 200-word post. But I just have to explain that this post is counting not only as my 2nd Campaigner Challenge entry but also as my first post for NaBloWriMo, which I am insane enough to have signed up for at sort of the last minute.
I also have to say that during October, and therefore NaBloWriMo, I am going to be reporting on how my transferral of paper edit notes to my Scrivener file for SUNDOWN goes - because yes, today I finally finished the paper edit!!! So now it's time to get that all into digital format. In time for November to start. Yes, friends, I've got a month to get this off my to-do list so I can relax for the rest of the year (and by 'relax' I of course mean write 2 novels in November, then spend the rest of the year scrambling to get my other 2011 goals finished). For the record, my word count before beginning to transfer edits is 101,459. I want it to be more like 95k by the time I'm done.
Fantastic! Love your placement of the chosen words. Very intriguing. A lot of characters were introduced in that first paragraph but it just makes me want to know more!
ReplyDeleteVery well done. And woohoo let's do this thing!!! I don't know how I will post every day either but we can do it!
ReplyDeleteTwo novels in November FTW!
ReplyDelete@Ron - thank you, glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by my blog!
ReplyDelete@Danette - thank you. And I think this is what I need to kick my butt back into gear. hehe
@Brooke - FTW indeed...at least if I don't fail miserably. hehehe
Interesting piece. I'm definitely left with questions...way to go.
ReplyDeleteNice descriptive, but a little confused. I wasn't sure if the two paragraphs are connected?
ReplyDeleteInteresting piece! I really want to know more about the characters . . .
ReplyDeleteI'm doing NaBloWriMo this year, too.
Nice story! I want to know more as well...are we talking post-apocalyptic war or just ordinary what-is-it-good-for type war? :P
ReplyDeleteI think I might do NaBloWriMo this year as well...It might mesh better with my schedule than NaNoWriMo.
@Raelyn - thank you!
ReplyDelete@Sheri - yeah, I'm confused too. hehe
@Golden Eagle - yay, another NaBloWriMo participant!! Fun times :)
@Michael - yeah, NaBloWriMo is definitely easier than writing 50k, esp. for a crazy busy law student who still has to give us Chrysalis installments *pokes* No pressure of course...lol
Eek! Talk about synchronicity - I finished typing up my paper edits today too! And yet somehow I still don't feel done. Better start working on my query letter...
ReplyDelete"...miasma of decay..." excellent.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your entry very much and thank you for finding mine. This read like a song to me; kind of singing it in my mind as I read it for whatever reason, and lots of visuals too, making me think how all of those and the sentiment of the bum are connected; everyone with their own little lives going on around the other. Great job.
ReplyDeleteGreat imagery here, Trisha!
ReplyDeleteThanks all for the comments & for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteLoving the feel of this piece. The ending is sad, but probably true.
ReplyDeleteAlso - good luck with NaBloWriMo! I couldn't never have taken that on lol. Hope the transferring the paper files to Scrivener goes well, and you reach your month long goal :D
Ooh it has left me wanting more. I want to know how alll those people fit in.
ReplyDelete@K.T. - thank you! as for NaBlo, well I don't think it'll be quite as full-on as the A-Z back in April was. hehe
ReplyDelete@K - thanks for the comment and for stopping by!
I love the energy in your writing ! The many characters seem to reinforce this as they go about the business of their daily lives ... busy ! busy ! busy ! in true Trisha-style and a reflection of your writing journey .
ReplyDeleteMy entry at no.#185
That was excellent!
ReplyDeleteLots of characters to focus on, but I liked how everything came to a thought provoking close.
Great job, Trisha! :)
@Mish - thank you for the kind comment!
ReplyDelete@David - thank you for the comment & for stopping by.
That was amazing! Great job! I really liked how it flowed and great language. Loved it!
ReplyDelete(I'm entry #112)
This had a lot of emotion to it. I really enjoyed it! Good job. I'm voting for it now. I'm 125.
ReplyDeleteLoved how the first paragraph was really the intro for the second paragraph.
ReplyDeleteExcellent piece.
Thanks everyone - gonna check out those stories of yours that I haven't read yet!
ReplyDeleteGreat writing. I love how the two paragraphs work together.
ReplyDeleteIt was pretty clear where you were going from the third sentence, but you expanded beautifully in the second paragraph. Lovely.
ReplyDelete@Stephanie - thank you!
ReplyDelete@Kurt - thanks, glad you enjoyed it. :)
Well done. I was drawn in immediately.
ReplyDeleteThanks, too, for coming by and commenting on mine.
Good luck with Nano blogging.