Saturday 1 October 2011

Once An Imago



Once An Imago
The clock strikes twelve and Annie trips on the third step, embarking on the tumble to her near-death. Tommy's Grandmother hands him a carefully-wrapped present; her hands are shaking and the box slips through Tommy's fingers; everyone watches its descent. Lauren pauses in the act of reaching for her hand mirror as the doorbell rings. Rowan shakes his head, which is full of thoughts about how gorgeous Sandra looks tonight, and how he can't believe he ever thought Denise Rowland was hotter.
The cripple emerges from the condemned building, beginning his morning shuffle downtown. He wafts in a miasma of decay, an excellent example of what not to become. He's a survivor who foolishly refused to let the war kill him when he had the chance. The promise of what might have been haunts him every moment of every day, a giant lacuna lurking in his shadow. He passes people on the street and imagines the way his tale would make them oscitate. Their faces would turn bright red as they realised their bodies had betrayed how little they cared. He reflects on where he came from, and where he's ended up.
He thinks, Synchronicity.


I was tempted to let this post stand on its own, without any 'non-fiction' addition. That way it would truly be a 200-word post. But I just have to explain that this post is counting not only as my 2nd Campaigner Challenge entry but also as my first post for NaBloWriMo, which I am insane enough to have signed up for at sort of the last minute.

I also have to say that during October, and therefore NaBloWriMo, I am going to be reporting on how my transferral of paper edit notes to my Scrivener file for SUNDOWN goes - because yes, today I finally finished the paper edit!!! So now it's time to get that all into digital format. In time for November to start. Yes, friends, I've got a month to get this off my to-do list so I can relax for the rest of the year (and by 'relax' I of course mean write 2 novels in November, then spend the rest of the year scrambling to get my other 2011 goals finished). For the record, my word count before beginning to transfer edits is 101,459. I want it to be more like 95k by the time I'm done.

28 comments:

  1. Fantastic! Love your placement of the chosen words. Very intriguing. A lot of characters were introduced in that first paragraph but it just makes me want to know more!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Very well done. And woohoo let's do this thing!!! I don't know how I will post every day either but we can do it!

    ReplyDelete
  3. @Ron - thank you, glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    @Danette - thank you. And I think this is what I need to kick my butt back into gear. hehe

    @Brooke - FTW indeed...at least if I don't fail miserably. hehehe

    ReplyDelete
  4. Interesting piece. I'm definitely left with questions...way to go.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nice descriptive, but a little confused. I wasn't sure if the two paragraphs are connected?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Interesting piece! I really want to know more about the characters . . .

    I'm doing NaBloWriMo this year, too.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Nice story! I want to know more as well...are we talking post-apocalyptic war or just ordinary what-is-it-good-for type war? :P
    I think I might do NaBloWriMo this year as well...It might mesh better with my schedule than NaNoWriMo.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Raelyn - thank you!

    @Sheri - yeah, I'm confused too. hehe

    @Golden Eagle - yay, another NaBloWriMo participant!! Fun times :)

    @Michael - yeah, NaBloWriMo is definitely easier than writing 50k, esp. for a crazy busy law student who still has to give us Chrysalis installments *pokes* No pressure of course...lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Eek! Talk about synchronicity - I finished typing up my paper edits today too! And yet somehow I still don't feel done. Better start working on my query letter...

    ReplyDelete
  10. "...miasma of decay..." excellent.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I enjoyed your entry very much and thank you for finding mine. This read like a song to me; kind of singing it in my mind as I read it for whatever reason, and lots of visuals too, making me think how all of those and the sentiment of the bum are connected; everyone with their own little lives going on around the other. Great job.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great imagery here, Trisha!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks all for the comments & for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Loving the feel of this piece. The ending is sad, but probably true.

    Also - good luck with NaBloWriMo! I couldn't never have taken that on lol. Hope the transferring the paper files to Scrivener goes well, and you reach your month long goal :D

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ooh it has left me wanting more. I want to know how alll those people fit in.

    ReplyDelete
  16. @K.T. - thank you! as for NaBlo, well I don't think it'll be quite as full-on as the A-Z back in April was. hehe

    @K - thanks for the comment and for stopping by!

    ReplyDelete
  17. I love the energy in your writing ! The many characters seem to reinforce this as they go about the business of their daily lives ... busy ! busy ! busy ! in true Trisha-style and a reflection of your writing journey .
    My entry at no.#185

    ReplyDelete
  18. That was excellent!

    Lots of characters to focus on, but I liked how everything came to a thought provoking close.

    Great job, Trisha! :)

    ReplyDelete
  19. @Mish - thank you for the kind comment!

    @David - thank you for the comment & for stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
  20. That was amazing! Great job! I really liked how it flowed and great language. Loved it!

    (I'm entry #112)

    ReplyDelete
  21. This had a lot of emotion to it. I really enjoyed it! Good job. I'm voting for it now. I'm 125.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Loved how the first paragraph was really the intro for the second paragraph.

    Excellent piece.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Thanks everyone - gonna check out those stories of yours that I haven't read yet!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Great writing. I love how the two paragraphs work together.

    ReplyDelete
  25. It was pretty clear where you were going from the third sentence, but you expanded beautifully in the second paragraph. Lovely.

    ReplyDelete
  26. @Stephanie - thank you!

    @Kurt - thanks, glad you enjoyed it. :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. Well done. I was drawn in immediately.

    Thanks, too, for coming by and commenting on mine.

    Good luck with Nano blogging.

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your words, me hearties! and don't forget to leave a link to your blog somewhere I can find it!