Saturday, 5 March 2011

Race to 200 Blogfest!

Before I get onto the actual blogfest, I want to mention that my query for NAUSICAA was featured in Evil Editor's blog, HERE...and by "featured", I of course mean put through the Evil Editor and cronies blender. ;)

I also want to mention this great recap of the latest WriteOnCon chat, written up by Sisters in Scribe!

Okay, now onto the actual point of this entry!

It's time for the Race to 200 Blogfest (click on the image to find out more), and here is what's required:

"Write a story/excerpt (no more than 750 words long) about a race of some sort. It could be an actual race. Or a race for survival. Even a race against time. Be creative!" - J.C. Martin

And without further ado, here is my entry! :D According to Word, it's 649 words!


Brendan was a dick. Everybody knew it, but it seemed he wasn't satisfied with everybody knowing—he wanted to show them.

Not that he hadn’t done so plenty of times before. But this time was different.

John was sitting in his car in the left lane, staring fixedly at the glowing red traffic light. It cast its warm light across the intersection. He saw the faint hue of the green light for the crossing street, but he saw no more than that. It didn’t have much impact on the red. Beyond the lights was a t-junction.

He was trying his best to ignore Brendan and his absolutely dicky friends in the next lane, their lime green Ford Falcon chugging away like a race car. But it was hard to ignore their booming voices. And their stinking exhaust. They’d turned their music down, presumably so they could hear themselves better. Or maybe so John could hear them. How considerate. Usually John would have turned his music way up, to drown it all out. But his speakers were messed up and silence was preferable to the painful buzz-crackle they emitted.

Usually, it was preferable.

He was wondering if time to embrace it, just so he could drown in noise and pretend Brendan didn’t exist. It was always nice when he could pretend that.

“Oy, pansy, what’s it gonna be?!”

Brendan’s voice rang through the night. John clenched his jaw and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, willing that red traffic light to turn eerie green. The red seemed to mock him, saying, Nah, we’re gonna sit on this a while, see how much you can take.

“I think he’s deaf, ay!” Brendan’s cousin Larry hooted. “Or wait, I know what it is—he’s got a crush on you mate!” And the laughter was deafening.

John swore to himself he was getting his stereo fixed first thing in the morning. He’d been putting it off, saving for a new car, but he wouldn’t be ready for that for months—and he couldn’t stand another night like this. The kind of night you couldn’t drown out in music.

“PANSY, PANSY, PANSY...!” The chant wore on, and John daydreamed of running the red light.

And then that red light was green. Both cars sat in their lanes, not moving.

John had been here before. It was better to let Brendan tear off, so you weren’t in danger of getting in his way. Getting in his way could mean being run off the road. John had been here before. But Brendan wasn’t moving.

“What, you don’t wanna race me?!”

John gave no answer.

“Hey dude,” Brendan said to somebody else in his car, why don’t you get out and hop in the pansy’s car? He can show you a good time!”

Much more hooting laughter, and John imagined that maybe Brendan’s car was rocking with it. Then one of the doors opened, and John knew it was time to act. The light was still green, but it could turn amber at any moment. He pressed his foot down on the accelerator, hearing a door slam and a bunch of dicks shouting. He was rounding the corner, resisting the urge to start speeding. Then he heard squealing tyres and the lime green beast flashed past, cutting in front of him.

He leaped on the brakes and his car shuddered to a stop, giving himself mini-whiplash. Then he looked up, through the windscreen, and saw Brendan’s car half stuck into the embankment of the t-junction. Steam rose from the bonnet, hissing in the night.

With zombie-like motions John took out his mobile phone and dialled triple zero.

“Emergency, how may I direct your call?”

“Um... Yeah. Some dicks just had a car crash.”

“All right then. What is your location?”


  1. Thanks for posting that link to the Evil Editor. Although the criticism is harsh, I can see the point of said "Evil Editor" and cronies and just reading what is pointed out there makes me look at my own query letter with a more attuned eye. Much luck in revisions! :)

  2. Great short^^.

    Always have to take what people say with a grain of salt eh?

  3. Nice story! You're right, Brendan is a dick. :)


  4. "absolutely dicky friends." Too funny :) Great short story!

  5. Excellent short story. You sucked me right in!

  6. Great characters. You could write a whole novel about Brendan

  7. Hi, just to see I've been by to read your entry! Thanks again for participating, finalists will be announced Friday 11th! :)

  8. Michael, no worries - it was maybe a little harsh, but having received much more harsh critique in the past, I took this one pretty well :D

    Thanks to everyone else who stopped by, glad you enjoyed the story :)

  9. I cracked up with your first line....

    You write no-nonsense.

  10. Hey Trisha, I too like your writing style. Thx for the link to Evil Editor, I think...

    Great first line...

    I'm not sure if you've read mine yet...

    Have also got a relaxing post on L'Aussie today...


    Race to 200 contest entry

  11. Hmm, my post didn't make it! I loved your introductory paragraph, and John rocks! The ending was awesome. (Can I repeat that John rocks?)

  12. Thanks guys, glad you enjoyed. :)

  13. I really enjoyed reading this, Trisha, as I know many such dicky "friends" and it hit home. Thanks for participating in J.C.'s contest!

  14. Hah. This is funny and well written! I enjoyed reading it.

  15. This made me think of back to the future 2.

  16. Love the opening lines! I swear I went to high school with these guys, but sadly I bet there's a lot of this type floating around out there. Really loved the humor and the protagonist.

  17. Thanks guys, glad you liked it! I like the protag too, actually :D he's the kind of kid I can respect! :)


Thanks for your words, me hearties! and don't forget to leave a link to your blog somewhere I can find it!