Sunday, 27 March 2011

The Nature of Magic Blogfest


Yes, at last I am posting, and here is what this blogfest is all about:

"Write or share something you've already written that, to you, shows the nature of magic. It can be an excerpt from your WIP, something you've written especially, poetry, whatever strikes your fancy. It just needs to show the nature of magic as it exists for you or for those you write about." - Tessa Conte

Here's my entry, taken from my epic fantasy novel that may or may not someday be finished. For now it is an epic mess, but it holds sentimental value since I started writing it when I was about 14. Hehe. It's undergone some serious changes since it began, but anyway...here is something illustrating the nature of one particular type of magic present in my novel. Please note that it's barely edited.

"Callihroe, what happened?" she asked the stricken woman.

Callihroe's face lifted. "I betrayed my own people. I ignored the laws that have stood for centuries past. I ripped myself from my own race. I have no home."

It was a little unsettling how calmly she spoke. She almost sounded as if she did not care what she was saying.

"You also saved our lives, Callihroe. And no doubt a lot of other lives that would have been taken, too. But…tell me, how did you do it?" Thaixha asked curiously.

The snow woman shuddered. "I used the Bowfynntine." Briseis looked up sharply and walked over to stand before her as she murmured, "I am as good as dead now."

"You know the Bowfynntine?" Briseis demanded. "You know how to work it?" It was a foolish question, of course—she'd just witnessed Callihroe's knowledge with her own eyes. Still, the snow woman nodded.

"How?" Briseis asked urgently.
Callihroe shook her head tiredly. "I am as good as dead," she whispered.

Briseis sighed. "How?"
Thaixha pulled her away. "Briseis, stop it. She is upset," the Foranden said. Briseis looked away in frustration.

"What is the Bowfynntine?" Kilian spoke up from behind them. His sword was still gripped firmly in his right hand.

Callihroe turned slowly to face him. "A forbidden magic that was used in the old world. It is forbidden because of how it works. Because of the materials that are used to make it work."

"What materials would these be?" Krandak asked.

Callihroe hesitated, then stood up and waited for her head to stop spinning. She walked to one of the stone walls and placed her hands on the cool surface. Then she turned around again so that she was facing everyone.

"Souls. Souls that have been trapped within this stone for as long as my people have been dying. You see, when we die, there are a few ways we can go—and this is one of them. Those sent here are sentenced to an afterlife within these walls. I can feel the plight of the spirits here. And now, I feel their anger. They would kill if they could." She shook her head. "I can never outrun this. Someday, when my time comes, I will wind up here. And then they will have their way."

18 comments:

  1. It's a nice excerpt Trisha but there are quite a few characters. Perhaps it's better if I've read the whole book so that each character has meaning to me and they are all introduced separately or in pairs.

    I am also not entirely sure who the main character is. This scene seems to be focusing on Callihroe but is she the main character of the whole novel or just this scene? I realize this is in third person but you should still show a slight favoring to the MC, if just by showing a few feelings or something of the sort.

    I like your names though some may not because of pronunciation, and I like how the Bowfynntine magic is used. Very original.

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  2. Hi Brooke - yeah, you're right about the characters. it was even worse before my hasty edit, with POV changes and the like. :D

    Because it's an excerpt from the middle of a scene it is a little more confusing, but in the scene overall I was confusing myself. It's been a long time since I did any serious editing of this story, so it's pretty far behind compared with other works. ;)

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  3. Hi there. I really liked the ideas in this exerpt. Would love to read the whole story. Lx

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  4. I love the concept! The writing is great... yeah, I could get confused with the characters, but often is the case with high fantasy.
    I still love your magical elements, and the names are very unique. :)

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  5. Thanks PK. At least you know you're not the only confused one :D

    Laura, thanks :) Maybe someday it'll be worthy of being read. lol

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  6. Oh, I love the idea of souls being trapped in a stone wall. A city circled by the dead. All sorts of mileage for wordplay there! Good luck with the blogfest :)

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  7. I love the concept of the souls being used for magic. Gives it a very primal feeling, and highly risky too, which makes it more exciting to read about.
    As for the character, I imagine once I knew a little bit more of the storyline I'd be able to keep them straight. It's always kind of hard getting thrown into the middle.
    Overall, I really enjoyed it. Fascinating.

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  8. Yikes!!!
    I so feel for that woman. She not only took a serious risk, but she sacrificed her afterlife as well. I like this. It reminds me that magic can't be used without paying a price, especially a forbidden one.

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  9. Oooooo, shivers! Here I was on a lazy Sunday afternoon, thinking "Oh, a nice magic excerpt," and BAM! I was thrown right into this and have questions that now have to linger. Boo on you for not posting more and great job!

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  10. Thanks for all your comments guys :)

    Though if you had any idea what a mess the overall story is, you'd probably be happy not to be seeing more :P

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  11. magic in an epic fantasy - love it. what a twist to have souls trapped in a stone.

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  12. Hi Trisha! What a wonderful epic fantasy piece! You have a real gift for names, I especially like Briseis! :) Love the concept of souls being trapped in stone...that's GOOD!!!

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  13. Oh, that last paragraph gave me chills! Great set up. And I like the description of her as "the snow woman" - this is so intriguing! I would def. read more!

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  14. nice! Love the magic & the setup! I do agree on the who's-the-MC question, though - but that would vanish in edits.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Tessa.x

    ps. please do pop in on the 30th to vote on the finalists!

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  15. The last bit was really interesting with the souls being part of the magic--nice! Thanks for participating!

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  16. Thanks guys! :D

    The irony about this story is that I've written most of it, and only now am thinking I need to make some kind of outline/plan for it so I can rewrite it completely :P

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  17. Ack! Dark and eerie. It speaks of so much more going on here. I'm definitely intrigued. Thanks for sharing :)

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  18. Cheers Rosie :) This was in the middle of the novel, well probably closer to the end. So yeah...

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Thanks for your words, me hearties! and don't forget to leave a link to your blog somewhere I can find it!