Deal-breakers by Mina Lobo
“Hermes is so immature. He lacks a certain authority. While occasionally amusing, I find his ceaseless tricks and jests belie a rather spiteful sort of nature. I find it difficult to consider him marriageable when he is constantly in search of some frivolous amusement or other. He is handsome enough, in his way…” Persephone wrinkled her nose. “But, no. I want someone with whom I may share lighter moments, to be sure, but also someone who can turn his mind to more serious matters, someone who is capable of intelligent discourse.”
Athena thought again before suggesting, “Then what of Eros? He certainly is pleasing enough to look at and has all of those qualities you admire.”
“Yes, he is an excellent candidate,” Persephone said. “Unfortunately, I find him more suitable for the role of confidante than that of husband.” At Athena’s perplexed look, Persephone elaborated, “I regret to say that I feel no particular yearnings in his direction.”
“Ah!” the elder goddess exclaimed, in the tone of one who had finally come to the heart of a matter. “So you seek a male of authority, wisdom, depth and beauty, as well as one who can stoke your—ahem—internal fires. Well, that seems reasonable enough. Alas, I cannot think of a name to fit such a tall order.” But even as the Warrior Goddess uttered those words, her eyes widened and she became completely still.
The above excerpt comes from the second chapter of my fantasy romance, That Fatal Kiss, set in a mythical Greece. In this segment, Persephone's laying out for Athena what she wants in a mate. In this era, we call those "deal-breakers," right? These are the desirable qualities a person must possess before a more serious connection can be considered (or the undesirable qualities that will "break the deal" if they do exist). Poor Persephone hasn't had much luck finding a fella who fulfills her criteria, but Athena, the Goddess of Wisdom, may have thought up just the right guy...too bad the right guy went about hooking up with Persephone in totally the wrong way. (Totally.)
About a year ago, I thought about what my deal-breakers were and came up with a list of things (incomplete, probably) that I don't want in a partner. To wit, I'm not interested in tying the knot with a dude who:
- Likes hot weather
- Prefers Pepsi products to Coke
- Is a political extremist
- Is a religious extremist
- Prefers white wine to red
- Prefers cats to dogs
- Is cantankerous
- Doesn't enjoy the absurdities in/of life as I do
- Doesn't enjoy my eccentricities
- Is a sheep (follows the mob)
- Isn't naturally compassionate
- Is a racist, or any other bad -ist
- Thinks the poor and unfortunate brought their conditions upon themselves
How about y'all, what are your deal-breakers? An overabundance of facial hair? A penchant for wearing white off-season? Rudeness to waiters? (That last thing is massively uncool and, actually, will be added to my list.) Tell us your deal-breakers in the comments!
* * *
In That Fatal Kiss, life-giving Persephone seeks a mate but the goddess' mother frustrates her plans. Then Hades, King of the Underworld, spirits Persephone away to rule with him below, as his bride. Yet, even as she awaits rescue, Persephone aches to be consumed by the fire in the dark lord's immortal soul.
Mina Lobo writes dark and whimsical romances, dodges the slings and arrows of her outrageous college-aged son, and feels compelled to do things in threes. She digs comedic horror, alternative rock, and Belgian chocolates. (See?)
Visit Mina's Web site, Some Dark Romantic, from September 24 - 29, for your chance to win an e-book copy of That Fatal Kiss!
I guess my dealbreaker would be if he refused to indulge in my geekiness. If he's going to roll his eyes when I insist on a Doctor Who marathon or want to couple costume as Zelda and Link, I'm out.
ReplyDeleteHear, hear! We should be loved for all that we are, geek and all! :-)
DeleteI haven't been single in nearly 15 years but I did have a dealbreaker back in the day: someone who would try to "fix" me. I knew I met the right woman when I realized I wanted to be more like her. It wasn't what she wanted. It was what I wanted.
ReplyDeleteA lovely sentiment. I see exactly what you mean. Congratulations!
DeleteThank you and good luck with the new release.
DeleteThanks so much for hosting me on my blog tour, Trisha!
ReplyDeleteNo worries, Mina, I was happy to host your lovely self! :)
DeleteHey Mina! *waves* Fancy finding you here! I'm excited about your new book. I love Greek mythology and playing with said myths! Good luck with your launch!
ReplyDeleteHi, Ava; thank you!
DeleteHello Mina. Hello Trish. That cover does all sorts of things to me. It is fantastic. The story sounds wonderful, too. I've been married too long to think about dealbreakers, lol!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Denise! The cover has a similar effect on me. ;-)
DeleteCool, best of luck on her tour:)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Mark!
DeleteBest of luck to Mina.
ReplyDeletePrefers white to red? LOL. That's funny. My grandma always told me to avoid guys who hate cats. And avoid the guy that dogs hate. Those were my dating parameters.
Thanks, Elizabeth. And I'm with your grandma about avoiding guys dogs hate. :-)
DeleteYeah, a guy who hates cats is a definite no-no in my world ;) And if a dog hates him that's a bad sign too. LOL. I'm not a dog person but dogs always seem to like me.
DeleteAnd cats love me so naturally I'm allergic to them... :-)
DeleteI love the deal-breaker list :) I'm happily married now, but a while ago I MAY have had one of my own! High up on mine was anyone who was incapable of compassion. Yup, no way. Bye bye!
ReplyDeleteThe excerpt is great, BTW. I totally want to know what Athena just thought of!
Thanks, Liz! I think we must all have deal-breakers, whether formalized or not. Surely we've all experienced that moment when all's well with a new love interest, until that person does something which proves to be a complete turn-off? Maybe even something we'd no idea was important to us.
DeleteFor me, complete turn-offs are racism, sexism, lack of compassion for refugees, and cat hating ;) To name a few. haha.
DeleteI knew I was forgetting an -ism.
DeleteCongratulations, Mina! That's a great list of deal-breakers. I'll add people who aren't polite to waiters, store clerks, etc.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and hear, hear!
DeleteI'm reading That Fatal Kiss now. Good stuff! :)
ReplyDeleteYay!!! And thanks! :-)
ReplyDelete