First chapter editing 'marathon'

I've read a lot about authors struggling with their first chapters. First you have to figure out where your novel should start, and that can be the trickiest part to get right. I've often started my novels in the wrong spot with rough drafts. With my current edit of DAPHNE, I think I've got the start point right. The rest of the chapter though is where I'm struggling.

The main thing I'm dealing with is getting the dialogue between my two main characters right. Nathan is a bit of a lovable rogue and he exasperates Daphne when they first meet. That's what I thought I had conveyed in the first chapter, but reading through it after a long hiatus I found I had created more of a harasser than an entertainer! What?! That was definitely not my intention, so I've been honing the chapter ever since I started this latest revision, trying to make Nathan more Nathan-esque. This chapter is probably on version 5 by now (taking a wild guess there), and it's still not right. It's getting there, but s.l.o.w.l.y.

I think what will help is to print the chapter out and do a paper edit. I haven't done one of those in a long time. I really love editing my novels on my Kindle, reading and making notes along the way. It's almost as good as a paper edit for picking up mistakes or sentences that just don't flow right. Even paragraphs that can be chopped in their entirety. But I think being able to use a bright red pen and scribble all over the chapter might help me in this case.

Elsewhere in the novel, I've been making good progress filling gaps in the narrative, and I think I'm mostly done with that. Of course, some gap filling has resulted in a need to do yet more editing of subsequent chapters, as they no longer quite fit. This feels like a neverending process, but I know from experience that eventually I'll reach a point where I've done all I can for the time being. That will be the time to let the novel stew once again. And maybe, not long after, it will be beta-reader recruiting time!

Write ... Edit ... Publish ~ FAILURE (May)

It's that time of the month again when we participants in the WEP get together and share our thoughts on the monthly theme, set by Denise Covey. This month's theme is as follows:

TIME to sign up for the May challenge - FAILURE...or is it?
Write your stories, poems or get your artwork or photos ready!
You can link up immediately or with your direct link afer you post on your blog.
Edit your work. Word limit of 1,000 words for stories, poems or photo essays.
Publish on your blog between May 21 - 24. Leave a message at WEP when you do.

For my post this month I am sharing a little excerpt from DAPHNE II, which I have just edited - though I haven't edited the rest of the story in a fair while now. Feel free to give me any feedback. :) I'm happy to receive critique of the harshest order as long as you aren't unconstructively mean about it.

I cross Hackett Drive on foot and pick out a shady patch of grass under a Moreton Bay fig tree. I settle on the grass facing the river, and manage a smile, even as my nose wrinkles.

While Matilda Bay is a beautiful spot, currently it smells a bit like dead jellyfish.

I turn my thoughts to all the good things I can identify about this moment: the gentle breeze washing over me, the rustle of wind through leaves, the acceptable distance between me and the nearest traffic.

Slowly I draw breath, imagining my lungs expanding and my ribcage stretching around them. The stress is a fist in my sternum but I'm determined to rid myself of it. I try to focus on the good things--the small miracles that grace my reality. I'm fortunate to be here, to be able to attend such a beautiful campus. I'm definitely privileged. But right now those good things are being quickly overwhelmed by other aspects of my existence that I usually refuse to think about at all.

I'm in completely over my head here.

I need to think about the stresses, because to deny them is to delay the inevitable devastating freak-out. So I breathe slow and steady, close my eyes, and let little cracks begin to form in my defences. Reality seeps in, though I'm controlling the amount of flow, and suddenly I'm letting myself consider what it is that truly terrifies me.

What the hell would I do if I failed? What if I bombed all my assignments and screwed up all my exams and failed this entire semester? What would all those snobby friends of my mother's have to say then?

And what will I do with my Arts degree? I didn't care about that question at all until people started hassling me about it, and not just my mother's snobby socialite acquaintances either. My own friends do it, too. Even Daniel never got it.

Nathan does, I realise in surprise. He's in the boat with me. He's doing a useless degree just like I am. But I can't see him failing at anything. Whatever his long-term plans, he strikes me as the ambitious type. He's independent and strong-minded. I could totally imagine him going places, even if he doesn't go the traditional route.

In short, when I look at that guy I see one hell of a bright future. I just wish I could see the same thing for myself.

(411 words - according to wordcounter.net) 

Daphne, meet Helvetica [revisions]

Already this year I've completed a revision of SUNDOWN II, and currently I'm working on DAPHNE II, and I've discovered that, on Scrivener for Mac at least, the story looks kind of groovy in Helvetica font. ;) I haven't got all that far in my revisions, and I wouldn't say I'm being absolutely perfectionist during this round. I guess my goals are to get my word count down (it started at about 111k, and I'd like it to be more like 95k) and fix up some inconsistencies. I also have other little goals, but for the most part the word count whittling is what I'm aiming for.

I really do love this story after the rewrite. I kind of loved it before the rewrite, but I am quite excited by the bad boy character I introduced in the rewrite. I want to tweak some of his scenes a little bit, to better illustrate his own issues. He's a little too stable considering all he's gone through, but I still want him to have that core reliability (whether he believes he does or not). There's also a minor character (a timid little mouse of a girl who is overwhelmed by most aspects of life) who I don't know if I should keep. She doesn't really serve any purpose, and in the latter parts of the story I neglected her entirely (guess I answered my question then, didn't I?). I was planning to kill her off, but I think the story has more than enough drama as it is without adding a death to the mix. So I might get rid of her entirely, even though I enjoy her scenes.

Revisions are going slowly, and I feel a little like I'm stumbling around in the dark, but I know this is only the beginning, so I'm not feeling too under pressure to get things perfect during this revision round. But, um, what was the whole point of this post? Oh yeah, I like this Helvetica font. :) And yes, I do tend to be a frequent font changer!!

What are you working on?