First chapter editing 'marathon'

I've read a lot about authors struggling with their first chapters. First you have to figure out where your novel should start, and that can be the trickiest part to get right. I've often started my novels in the wrong spot with rough drafts. With my current edit of DAPHNE, I think I've got the start point right. The rest of the chapter though is where I'm struggling.

The main thing I'm dealing with is getting the dialogue between my two main characters right. Nathan is a bit of a lovable rogue and he exasperates Daphne when they first meet. That's what I thought I had conveyed in the first chapter, but reading through it after a long hiatus I found I had created more of a harasser than an entertainer! What?! That was definitely not my intention, so I've been honing the chapter ever since I started this latest revision, trying to make Nathan more Nathan-esque. This chapter is probably on version 5 by now (taking a wild guess there), and it's still not right. It's getting there, but s.l.o.w.l.y.

I think what will help is to print the chapter out and do a paper edit. I haven't done one of those in a long time. I really love editing my novels on my Kindle, reading and making notes along the way. It's almost as good as a paper edit for picking up mistakes or sentences that just don't flow right. Even paragraphs that can be chopped in their entirety. But I think being able to use a bright red pen and scribble all over the chapter might help me in this case.

Elsewhere in the novel, I've been making good progress filling gaps in the narrative, and I think I'm mostly done with that. Of course, some gap filling has resulted in a need to do yet more editing of subsequent chapters, as they no longer quite fit. This feels like a neverending process, but I know from experience that eventually I'll reach a point where I've done all I can for the time being. That will be the time to let the novel stew once again. And maybe, not long after, it will be beta-reader recruiting time!

Write ... Edit ... Publish ~ FAILURE (May)

It's that time of the month again when we participants in the WEP get together and share our thoughts on the monthly theme, set by Denise Covey. This month's theme is as follows:

TIME to sign up for the May challenge - FAILURE...or is it?
Write your stories, poems or get your artwork or photos ready!
You can link up immediately or with your direct link afer you post on your blog.
Edit your work. Word limit of 1,000 words for stories, poems or photo essays.
Publish on your blog between May 21 - 24. Leave a message at WEP when you do.

For my post this month I am sharing a little excerpt from DAPHNE II, which I have just edited - though I haven't edited the rest of the story in a fair while now. Feel free to give me any feedback. :) I'm happy to receive critique of the harshest order as long as you aren't unconstructively mean about it.

I cross Hackett Drive on foot and pick out a shady patch of grass under a Moreton Bay fig tree. I settle on the grass facing the river, and manage a smile, even as my nose wrinkles.

While Matilda Bay is a beautiful spot, currently it smells a bit like dead jellyfish.

I turn my thoughts to all the good things I can identify about this moment: the gentle breeze washing over me, the rustle of wind through leaves, the acceptable distance between me and the nearest traffic.

Slowly I draw breath, imagining my lungs expanding and my ribcage stretching around them. The stress is a fist in my sternum but I'm determined to rid myself of it. I try to focus on the good things--the small miracles that grace my reality. I'm fortunate to be here, to be able to attend such a beautiful campus. I'm definitely privileged. But right now those good things are being quickly overwhelmed by other aspects of my existence that I usually refuse to think about at all.

I'm in completely over my head here.

I need to think about the stresses, because to deny them is to delay the inevitable devastating freak-out. So I breathe slow and steady, close my eyes, and let little cracks begin to form in my defences. Reality seeps in, though I'm controlling the amount of flow, and suddenly I'm letting myself consider what it is that truly terrifies me.

What the hell would I do if I failed? What if I bombed all my assignments and screwed up all my exams and failed this entire semester? What would all those snobby friends of my mother's have to say then?

And what will I do with my Arts degree? I didn't care about that question at all until people started hassling me about it, and not just my mother's snobby socialite acquaintances either. My own friends do it, too. Even Daniel never got it.

Nathan does, I realise in surprise. He's in the boat with me. He's doing a useless degree just like I am. But I can't see him failing at anything. Whatever his long-term plans, he strikes me as the ambitious type. He's independent and strong-minded. I could totally imagine him going places, even if he doesn't go the traditional route.

In short, when I look at that guy I see one hell of a bright future. I just wish I could see the same thing for myself.

(411 words - according to wordcounter.net) 

Tagged: the 'Be Inspired' meme

My NaNo profile.

Recently I got tagged by Chris over at the Kelworth Files with this "Be Inspired" meme thingy. Thanks, Chris, for thinking of me! Basically how it works is that I answer some questions about "my novel", and then tag 5 lucky bloggers. ;) Since I have many, many novels, I guess I should just close my eyes and throw a dart at a list of them, right? Actually, that's an idea... Seriously, I think I'll talk about the novel I'm going to work on during November this year.

1. What is the name of your book?
The original title was MEET DAPHNE STUART, back in the day, but that was back then. Now it's called simply DAPHNE. Naturally that's just a result of my "can't think of a title so I'll just name it after the MC's first name" habit. Someday, the book will have an actual proper title.

2. Where did the idea for your book come from?
I started this story back in 1999, during my first year of university. I had hardly any friends and hardly any life, so I started writing about a girl whose friends/boyfriend were her life. Somehow, though, this poor girl got lumped with a horrible family. I'm rewriting DAPHNE during November, and the rewrite, though still giving her plenty of crap to deal with, will at least give her some happiness in the end. Largely unlike the original draft.

3. In what genre would you classify your book?
Back then, there was no such thing as "New Adult" fiction, at least not that I'd ever heard of. This story is New Adult, but as for genre? Probably just general fiction. New Adult contemporary fits, too, I guess.

4. If you had to pick actors to play your characters in a movie rendition, who would you choose?
I used to cut out pictures from magazines to fit my characters, but they were never actors, so...yeah, got no clue. ;) There's also the fact that there will be new characters and possibly a lack of some old ones after my NaNo rewrite.

5. Give us a one-sentence synopsis of your book.
As Daphne's life descends steadily into chaos, she clings to one goal: getting through her first year of university.

6. Is your book already published?
Far from it!

7. How long did it take you to write your book?
It took me...*blush*...10 years. But this time around, as I rewrite, it will take me heaps less time than that. I'm a different animal these days. ;)

8. What other books within your genre would you compare it to? Or, readers of which books would enjoy yours?
To be honest, I don't know. I think I've taken inspiration from many different places, for e.g. in my plans for my rewrite I have a character partly inspired by Michael from Roswell (LOVE that show and that character). I also recently read TULLY for the first time, and the main character Tully has a crappy childhood and a frustrating adult life. But unlike Tully, Daphne's got many siblings to worry about, so again, their lives are different. Plus, my story will only focus on a year in a life, not decades.

9. Which authors inspired you to write this book?
Honestly, I can't remember what was inspiring me back in 1999. That was when I still read mostly fantasy, so...yeah. This story is different. Maybe there is a proper answer to this, but if so, I can't conjure it. ;)

10. Tell us anything that might pique our interest in your book.
Don't worry, it won't be totally miserable? hehe. And there will be a hot bad boy in it! Plus some nice lurve.

11. Tag five people!
I think I may be past the era of tagging specific people. From here on in I may have to do the cop-out thing other people do and just say "if you want it, take it!" Better that than inflicting it on people who just aren't interested, I figure.

Oh my, it's here! A-Z blogging challenge... letter "A"

It's time indeed to kick off the A-Z (this is my first go!). If you want to join or just find out more, click on the image above! Anyway, onto business!

Guess what letter I'm starting with? Yeah. A. Just to be different. Ha. Thinking about it last night, I decided to go with (A)ngry Moments as my theme, with various characters of mine in mind. Below you will find some excerpts (very brief) from WIPs about angry moments I've forced some of my characters into.

Let's start with Daphne:

Her back is to me so she doesn’t see me. I’m no longer aware of anyone but her and myself. The fury is rising within me as each second passes, with each step I take, and I am increasingly certain that this is my destiny—to end the monster’s life once and for all, right here and now. After all, this creature doesn’t deserve to live, not when other creatures have died so long before their time.

Somebody calls my name, but all I can see is my mother turning to face me, eyes widening, mobile phone flying through the air. My hands and feet lash out at the one who gave me life and then viciously took it away, day by agonising day.

Now Jared:

"I'm all right. In fact, I'm better than all right. I haven't felt this way in…well, I don't remember ever feeling this way."

"What way?" Adelai asked, stepping back to give him more room. And perhaps because she wasn't sure what to make of this new him.

He smiled at her, a grim smile. "What is this, therapy?" When she opened her mouth, he said, "No, it's okay. I'm happy to talk about it. I'm pissed. I'm angry. I'm…infuriated." He tilted his head in thought. "Maybe I've always felt this, but just didn't know it. Maybe it was always in there. Waiting."

Aaand finally, Squeaky:

“Don’t mind McLean,” Rodentia said to the bird. “Seriously—he’s always overreacting. I mean, just two weeks ago I was innocently lying on a beach in the Ballama–”

“That’s it!” Squeaky held up a dramatic paw. “I can’t hear anymore of this cat food. You two can go on having a nice chat, and I’ll go and do my job. Or our jobs, really, Raines,” he added with a pointed look at his partner. “Enjoy!” he snapped, and turned away.

And I'm done. But I'm curious - have your characters had moments like these? :D