tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post382108639646295371..comments2024-03-10T16:45:38.711+08:00Comments on WORD + STUFF: Write ... Edit ... Publish (edited with my Holiday "story")Trishahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-28711926126142964502013-08-30T02:03:04.732+08:002013-08-30T02:03:04.732+08:00Loved the journey and description and the romance,...Loved the journey and description and the romance, too, Trisha.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-6299938640048233712013-08-27T06:57:49.136+08:002013-08-27T06:57:49.136+08:00I agree with Scheherazade on the searing of the ey... I agree with Scheherazade on the searing of the eyes and smile needing surgery to fix! Otherwise this was SO much fun! I loved being in the jungle there with you/her. Loved that it had a good ending, yes, I'm a sucker for a good ending. You could do a lot with this as a fleshed out story. Thanks for sharing! And like Tammy said, don't mind Gary, he is always funny and interesting, the kind you want to have comment on your blog!Lisahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06658507579160418855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-89360909167029196392013-08-26T12:10:54.593+08:002013-08-26T12:10:54.593+08:00hi,trish...
oh, if i could only swim in that spar...hi,trish...<br /><br />oh, if i could only swim in that sparkling azure water.... broken wrist and all!<br /><br />beautiful descriptions and nice tension...Michael Di Gesuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17047267262428143113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-49347201257781057462013-08-26T08:23:25.398+08:002013-08-26T08:23:25.398+08:00Hi everyone - thanks for your comments. I've h...Hi everyone - thanks for your comments. I've had some really great feedback I can work with in revisions. :)Trishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16927558937796802496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-25102714005765507952013-08-26T05:22:01.748+08:002013-08-26T05:22:01.748+08:00Hi Trisha
Loving it. I think I'd like to go to...Hi Trisha<br />Loving it. I think I'd like to go to that place.<br />NancyN. R. Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02174506528962095858noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-89985112558962989802013-08-24T17:16:33.833+08:002013-08-24T17:16:33.833+08:00It really feels like a snippet of a bigger romance...It really feels like a snippet of a bigger romance fantasy or story that leaves me curious to know more about both characters. I found the second paragraph a little distracting and feel that Jarod is introduced again in the third paragraph, I think it would read better if both paragraphs were made into one. I agree with Beverley about the dark edge, I think the painful smile and seared eyes also has something to do with that, but I am picturing myself walking through the forest to get to that beach :)Ida Thoughthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15479961947050289284noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-63437604292364591532013-08-23T23:41:10.139+08:002013-08-23T23:41:10.139+08:00Wow- what a fantasy. Seems too good to be true. ...Wow- what a fantasy. Seems too good to be true. Maybe I'm just a sicko but my mind goes to a dark place with it and wonders what the seclusion is really all about...Bevimushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14924337684790883853noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-52758343063430460832013-08-23T22:35:40.093+08:002013-08-23T22:35:40.093+08:00Oh, what a nice vacation! I liked the interaction...Oh, what a nice vacation! I liked the interaction between the two best. I think maybe the awe was just a little too much (too fast) for me because it was thing after thing after thing, though I think you could tone it back enough just by an adverb check, or maybe mix in another emotion with the awe and excitement to give us a breather in the middle? (you mention the nerves later--maybe disbelief she's really there to mix up the pace a little as she arrives?)Hart Johnsonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17599570189253229318noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-61364918525194000032013-08-23T11:51:55.852+08:002013-08-23T11:51:55.852+08:00A dream holiday. The descriptions are enticing. ...A dream holiday. The descriptions are enticing. Particularly liked the use of the present tense, places the reader squarely into the story. Nilanjana Bosehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08656370320322301943noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-91810094914699508992013-08-23T08:23:25.929+08:002013-08-23T08:23:25.929+08:00Good description, well-written. I'm not sure w...Good description, well-written. I'm not sure where this scene occurs in your story, but I'm assuming this is not the opening scene. There was one sentence that stopped me and I had to reread to understand: I break into a smile and find that it’s soon stuck in place. I can’t dislodge it, and it’s starting to hurt my face. The wording doesn't give the impression that the smile is hard to suppress, but rather that it's something that will require physical intervention. Also, the word "dump" when you mean you are placing your purse on the table probably doesn't fit the feeling and description of this scene. It kind of jolts you out of the picture. Picky things, I know, but you are painting a particular picture here.Scheherazadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08906467791904395295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-87700892953856305652013-08-23T07:24:57.217+08:002013-08-23T07:24:57.217+08:00A vacation and romance. Nice.A vacation and romance. Nice.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-40489328411518399682013-08-23T00:25:27.971+08:002013-08-23T00:25:27.971+08:00Nice. :)
I'm going to do a post soon about ma...Nice. :)<br /><br />I'm going to do a post soon about making reminder blog posts. Maybe it'll help. <br /><br />Thanks for visiting my blog. Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08516493326566981116noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-71037052624399537772013-08-22T14:42:29.442+08:002013-08-22T14:42:29.442+08:00don't mind gary...hahahah
love a good command...don't mind gary...hahahah<br /><br />love a good commanding at the end. yes!Tammy Theriaulthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13128574900510175415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-91862125545303125872013-08-22T00:10:17.882+08:002013-08-22T00:10:17.882+08:00Greetings human Trisha,
And yay, I return to find...Greetings human Trisha,<br /><br />And yay, I return to find your actual pawblished pawsting, um published posting. First of all, blog hops! Argghhhhh!!!!. Sorry about that. Feel better now...<br /><br />Where was I? Oh yeah. Great post! Thanks for sharing! Kidding. Such a vivid tale you paint with your words that embrace the ambience of the setting. Welcome to your fantasy island.<br /><br />Pawsitive wishes,<br /><br />Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-51382342232508455572013-08-21T23:48:16.679+08:002013-08-21T23:48:16.679+08:00That's a vacation I want to go on!That's a vacation I want to go on!Emily R. Kinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03892444969625637064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-15083113570586055092013-08-21T23:20:21.841+08:002013-08-21T23:20:21.841+08:00Ooooo... I love the mood created here... I want th...Ooooo... I love the mood created here... I want that to be my reality! Nice build. Really fun! :-) Morganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15747144518868320969noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-18939745836837547322013-08-21T23:16:39.133+08:002013-08-21T23:16:39.133+08:00Sounds idyllic... and you painted a beautiful pict...Sounds idyllic... and you painted a beautiful picture... a real visual treat!<br />My impression is that they've known each other for a while, but this is the first face to face meeting between the two? Maybe they met on the internet? <br />He sure knows how to do it in style... <br /><a href="http://writer-in-transit.co.za/" rel="nofollow">Writer In Transit</a>Michelle Wallacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02750092836481599870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-9666374261874116652013-08-21T22:59:22.139+08:002013-08-21T22:59:22.139+08:00I could stay there a while...I could stay there a while...L. Diane Wolfehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06425864276166334896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-62328488331571919802013-08-21T22:24:33.045+08:002013-08-21T22:24:33.045+08:00Very nice descriptive tale that you set sailVery nice descriptive tale that you set sailPat Hatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07745293224202430152noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-78448418341770441992013-08-21T19:45:55.615+08:002013-08-21T19:45:55.615+08:00A romantic getaway with a Prince - that is what ev...A romantic getaway with a Prince - that is what every girl dreams of at some moment in time. A nice piece of tension leading up to their meeting and whether it would all go smoothly which it certainly seems as though it will.Sallyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14090018804016223955noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-59645593320757785402013-08-21T13:16:11.616+08:002013-08-21T13:16:11.616+08:00Hi, Trisha! Nice job here. I like the way you bu...Hi, Trisha! Nice job here. I like the way you built tension before the kiss.The Armchair Squidhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13509001761075530940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-88028401662024409232013-08-21T12:28:23.717+08:002013-08-21T12:28:23.717+08:00Hey Trisha. This is an awesome little fantasy on t...Hey Trisha. This is an awesome little fantasy on the fantasy isle. Loved the present tense, made it very fast moving. I enjoyed the descriptions of azure sea and blinding sand -- pretty much my favourite things, lol Mustn't forget the chiller of champagne. Nice tension when the two (who obviously have a history) met in this fabulous villa in the jungle. I think readers will want more of these two!<br /><br />Thank you for posting for the inaugural WEP bloghop.<br /><br />Denise Denise Covey https://www.blogger.com/profile/07106490051555233439noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-238481189278119116.post-53948117970152302562013-08-21T09:51:01.706+08:002013-08-21T09:51:01.706+08:00Greetings human Trisha,
Ah yes! In my case, writ...Greetings human Trisha,<br /><br />Ah yes! In my case, write, no edit and 'pawblish':)<br /><br />Pawsitive wishes,<br /><br />Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar! klahaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08613505424843475639noreply@blogger.com